(The Everything Show)
The amazing show starts now!
Introducing a new group,
who's going to do the opening for our show.
It's Poor and Rich!
♪ I got a gift ♪
♪ My dad's huge penthouse ♪
Buy me a building next time dad!
♪ A tiny basement room ♪
♪ I have nowhere to step ♪
Dad, tell me what to do!
♪ My house is so big ♪
♪ It takes me forever to get to my room ♪
Man, this place is huge.
♪ I hear rats squeaking ♪
♪ And cockroaches skittering ♪
♪ That's where I sleep ♪
♪ Dad, give me your company ♪
♪ Wow, I'm hungry ♪
♪ Dad, buy me some raw fish ♪
♪ I'll even take fish bones to make them into soup ♪
♪ Thanks for the supercars ♪
♪ All ten of them ♪
♪ Wow, all I have are my two feet ♪
♪ I want to change my life but ♪
- ♪ I'll always be rich ♪ / - ♪ I'll always be poor ♪
That was Poor and the cocky Rich.
For our next show...
A special spectacle at traditional markets.
The show you can see every day!
Let's watch some feats of strength!
Hello.
We've been practicing feats of strength for 10 years.
- I'm Gupal! / - And I'm Chilsip.
Gupal and Chilsip!
We are not peddlers.
Germanium necklaces for $10.
Filled with germanium.
Gupal.
Chilsip...
You fool!
We have bracelets for $5.
For our feat of strength...
This sturdy cable tie...
Will be snapped
with just hand strength.
Tie me up.
You're amazing, Chilsip!
Gupal and Chilsip!
Now...
Gupal will try it.
Tie me up!
Alright... Then...
With this!
What?
I can't do this.
- You can't? / - That's right!
We need to talk things over.
Gupal, follow me.
Gupal, if you do this for me
I won't blow in your ear when I whisper.
- Then I'll do it! / - Very good!
I'll tie up Gupal...
Just like this.
It's loose.
It's still tight.
My sphincter is loose.
Gupal and Chilsip!
Gupal.
- I think you should change your pants. / - Yes.
Here's the next show.
No words are needed for this show.
It's the greatest musical show!
Let's all watch it together!
Hello.
We play music with our bodies.
We're the Bod-chestra!
Let's start the music!
♪ Billie Jean ♪
The next show
is the greatest show of...
Goodness! You're hard at work!
You're working very hard here.
Who are you?
I run a claw crane arcade nearby.
Aren't you picking new members?
If you're chosen, what about your arcade?
I'm sick of the claw crane arcade, so I want to quit
and put on a show.
Why?
There are all sorts of idiots
when it comes to the claw crane.
Idiots that claim they're a claw crane master,
but can't win a single item all night.
Cheap idiots that try to tilt the machine
if there's a doll near the hatch.
When you finally manage to win a doll,
the idiot that says, "That's only worth like 30 cents."
Pathetic idiots that fill their tiny apartment with
the dolls they won so they have no space to sleep!
There's nobody like that!
That's me.
- Oh, geez... / - Hey.
Did you watch the soccer game yesterday?
Of course. Did you, mister?
I'm sick of cheering for soccer games!
Why?
There are all sorts of idiots
that cheer for soccer games!
Idiots that fall asleep at 2:50 a.m. when they
stay up for a soccer game at 3 a.m.
Idiots that set their alarm and go to sleep
and when the alarm rings they turn it off and
go back to bed.
"Hey, pass! Nice! Shoot! Take him out!"
Crazy idiots that think they're the coach!
Unpatriotic idiots that root for Korea,
but always bet money on the other team.
Idiots that go to cheer on the streets and say,
"Maybe I should sell food for the next game."
Thinking it's a business opportunity!
Pathetic idiots that wear a maroon shirt
because they don't have a red one at home.
Nobody does that!
I do!
- Geez... / - Hey.
Nobody can tell if I'm in a crowd.
It stands out!
Yeah? I'd better go buy a red shirt.
- Later. / - Geez...
Let's continue with the next show.
For the next show, Korea's greatest singers
got together to perform here.
2AM's "This Song."
Let's hear it!
♪ I want to buy you a pretty necklace ♪
♪ I want to drive you around in a nice car ♪
♪ I want to buy you nice clothes ♪
♪ But I ♪
Hello, universe! It's the Bewhying!
♪ I want to take you somewhere nice ♪
♪ In my pocket ♪
♪ Star candies and uncooked instant noodles ♪
♪ Thank you ♪
♪ How can we stop him? ♪
♪ His life goes to you ♪
♪ Trying to shed my label as a rapper ♪
♪ I hope he doesn't become famous ♪
♪ But will you still stay by his side? ♪
♪ I'm not the me you used to know ♪
Then what's your name?
♪ The only thing I can give you ♪
♪ Medicine, medicine, medicine ♪
♪ Thank you ♪
♪ The only thing I have ♪
♪ Finer than pearls ♪
♪ Dewy makeup ♪
- ♪ Dewy makeup ♪ / - Hey!
- What is this? / - Pardon?
Where did you buy this?
♪ At Sinsa, Hongdae Station ♪
Let's go buy some.
Hey, where are you all going?
The subway station, station, station.
The next show is our last show.
A show where two people act as one.
The Twins!
Let's do a good job.
Okay, let's get it!
Stop it!
That was the Twins!
The Everything Show will continue!
Coming soon!
(Sweet Potato)
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrated sweet potatoes.
Sweet...
Pota...
Toes.
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrated sweet potatoes.
We are sweet potatoes.
Frustrated sweet potatoes.
I lost my credit card yesterday.
Report it as lost.
Hello, this is Gag Con Bank.
To use voice recognition, dial 1.
To use your keypad, dial 2.
For normal service, dial 1.
For faster spoken service, dial 2.
Please punch in your 13-digit identification number.
You have run out of time.
Please enter the numbers again.
If this is Mr. Choi Jaewon, dial 1.
If you are not, dial 2.
We're sorry, but all our operators are busy.
Please call back later.
We're sweet potatoes.
Frustrated sweet potatoes.
I'm hungry.
What should we eat?
Whatever.
Black bean noodles?
I drank last night.
I want something with soup.
Spicy seafood noodles?
I had spicy seafood noodles with drinks last night.
Then what should we get?
Whatever.
Then I'll order pizza.
Alright.
Pizza is fattening.
Then a salad?
That isn't filling enough.
Then what should we get?
Whatever.
I'll just make some instant noodles.
Alright.
Let's just get black bean noodles.
We're sweet potatoes.
Frustrated sweet potatoes.
The end.
(Two Job Republic)
This way.
Are you enjoying your tour of Two Job Republic?
Yes, I'm having so much fun.
I can't believe this country still runs
with a population of only 100.
That's why in Two Job Republic,
each person has two jobs.
- So that's why this is Two Job Republic. / - Yes.
Did you enjoy the museum and the historical site?
I had a great time.
This place is the most important attraction
in Two Job Republic.
It's the salon!
But I don't need a haircut.
But this place gives great haircuts.
- I don't need one. / - Just once.
No, it's fine.
- Just once! / - What's with this guide?
This is Two Job Republic. I'm a tour guide
and I run this hair salon.
Just get one haircut!
I don't want to.
It's fine.
I'm good.
- Then have a seat and look at this map. / - Okay.
Where should I go next?
I'll cut your hair now.
No...
I don't need a haircut!
I'm fine.
- Hello there. / - Hello.
I'm the president of Two Job Republic.
The president!
Are you here to do your hair?
This place is famous.
Hey, where were you?
I just went to see a friend.
What are you doing to the president?
I'm the president of Two Job Republic
and a salon employee.
Would you like coffee or water?
I'm fine.
I'm the president.
Sorry, Mr. President.
- Have a seat. / - Yes.
- Would you like coffee or water? / - What the...
I'll perm your hair.
No! I'm not getting a haircut!
What's with you people?
Stop trying to force me to get a haircut!
Or I'll report you to the police!
What the...
- Salute. / - Hello.
- What's going on? / - Are you a policeman?
- Yes. / - They're forcing me to get a haircut.
I recorded everything on my phone.
Don't worry.
I'm a policeman in Two Job Republic...
- And a pickpocket. / - What?
- Now's my chance! / - What?
- My phone! / - Stop right there!
- What the... / - Let me go!
- What is this? / - Hold still!
- Let me go! / - What the...
Hold still!
- Let me go! / - What the...
- Let me go! / - What is this?
What are you doing?
- Salute. / - Yes.
Here's the cell phone you lost.
There are many pickpockets in this country
so be careful.
Alright.
But aren't you a pickpocket?
That's why I'm careful around myself.
What?
What's with this country?
Hello?
How are you telling me this now?
Alright, I'm on my way. Bye.
Hey, where are you going?
I'm the president.
- I have some business to attend to. / - Yes.
This is an honor.
Manager, when's my next gig?
I'm an actress. How long do I have to wait?
Sorry, Sora. We'll start soon.
She must be a celebrity.
Can you help me rehearse?
Hold on...
What the...
Why did you take your shirt off?
I'm a celebrity manager and a porn star.
I've never said a line with my clothes on.
What the...
What is she doing?
"Porn star Charlie Jeong acts at a salon."
Why would an actress take photos?
I'm an actress and a celebrity news reporter.
"Actress Park Sora is radiant at a hair salon."
Who wrote this article about me?
Gosh!
She's out of her mind.
What's with this country?
Why are you crying, Mr. President?
I'm not the president anymore.
I was just impeached.
So you only have one job now?
No.
I'm a salon employee...
- And a porn star. / - What the...
- What the... / - Hello, Haecheol!
- Work hard. / - I will!
What is this?
"A president-turned-porn star.
He quits the presidency and debuts as a porn star."
Mr. President, what are you doing? Snap out of it.
I'm a salon employee.
Would you like some coffee or water?
No, I don't want a haircut. I'm fine.
Want to see my photo shoot?
I don't want this!
What's wrong with this country?
(Leaving)
Honey, your leave is already over?
Yeah, I have to be back on post by 6 today.
Oh, well...
But thank you so much for this ring.
I bought it with my tiny soldier's salary,
so don't ever take it off.
I'll never take it off.
The bus to Chuncheon is leaving. All aboard!
I guess it's time to go. You should go now.
No. After I see you off.
I'll call you back on post.
- Call me. / - Okay.
Why are my eyes so blurry?
This is too bright.
We're going now.
No, these are too dark.
- I'll write you, honey. / - Okay.
♪ That's it, that's it ♪
♪ That's it ♪
♪ My love ♪
Man, why can't I open this thing?
Do they want me to drink this or not?
♪ You're my love ♪
We're going now.
Okay.
The driver really cares about his health.
Seriously...
Looks like we're going now.
Bye!
I need something to chew.
One piece isn't enough.
My mouth feels dry.
That's better.
I feel like time goes faster in the army.
My legs are really sore now.
The bus will depart soon.
I'm going for real now.
Bye for real!
Mister!
What is it?
Can I go to the terminal waiting room real quick?
We're running late. We need to hurry.
But I left an expensive and nicely-wrapped
gift for my girlfriend there!
Then you'd better hurry and get it!
Hold on!
Here!
Is this really okay?
It's yours now. It's a gift!
You said you wouldn't take it off.
If you don't make it back now, you'll be AWOL.
We're going for real now!
Hey, Driver Song!
What is it? What?
Driver Song, you're in bus 2.
I'm taking bus 1.
Oh! I forgot!
Get off the bus!
Work hard.
You too.
Geez...
♪ That's it, that's it ♪
♪ That's it ♪
Man, why can't I open this?
Do they want me to drink it or not?
Don't wait and just go.
Hey. I'm not waiting for you.
Beat it!
I want to get back to post now!
(Zoo News)
Hello.
This is Zoo News. I'm Anchor Cat.
And I'm Anchor Mayfly.
A lot of humans are going to Hangang Park now,
which is endangering Hangang's ecosystem.
That's why we're going to
talk about the state of Hangang.
The weather is perfect
for drinking beer at Hangang these days.
Really? I don't drink.
Oh, so you can't drink.
Pardon? I'm still a minor.
It's been 14 minutes since I was born.
Teach me how to drink
Please read the first report.
This is the first report.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is the first report.
You have something on your face.
Oh, this?
I just hit puberty.
This is the first report.
Next...
My voice changed too!
Your voice changed already?
Yes, my voice changed.
Here's the first report.
Let's check in on Reporter Alley Cat at Hangang.
Reporter Alley Cat.
I'm Reporter Alley Cat reporting from Hangang.
There's no space to even step because
of the many illegal tents.
I'll talk to the fruit flies behind me.
What are you looking at?
A guy and a girl...
I want to go in and look.
No! I'll go in and look.
Alright, go ahead.
Honey, it's a bug!
I'll get it.
Bro!
Due to humans excessively affectionate behavior,
curious fruit flies have been dying off.
We need a fast solution to this issue.
Kids shouldn't watch things like this.
Sora, I'm an adult now.
Already?
Want me to tell you what's going on in there?
- The guy... / - Don't say it! You must not say it.
Calm down.
Reporter Alley Cat.
It looks very messy around you.
Yes, that's right.
Hangang is a mess
from all the food waste left behind by humans.
I'll talk to the pigeon
that's been living here a long time.
Humans keep throwing out food waste at Hangang
which is a big problem for pigeons.
What's the problem?
I'll show you.
In my day, pigeons weren't like this.
This is what we did.
Now I'll show you what pigeons are like these days.
They're all fat from eating so much.
This is what they do! They don't get scared!
Alright, thank you for those words.
This has been Reporter Alley Cat
reporting from Hangang.
Good job, Reporter Alley Cat.
Please read the next report.
This is the next...
What's wrong?
I'm sore from old age.
You're already a middle-aged man?
Next is commentary on the animal world.
I'm Editorialist Afghan Hound.
There are still people at Hangang
that bring their dogs, but don't collect their poop.
What could be done as a solution?
We must clean our poop ourselves.
So the owner and dog...
What are you doing?
I rolled over. Don't I get a treat?
To make sure Hangang is clean...
I've collected this much dog poop.
You collected the poop of other dogs too?
This is all mine.
Gross!
Get out of here, mister!
I'm female.
Huh?
Oh, female...
Lastly, it's today's weather.
Anchor Mayfly.
Oh, you're an old man now?
Please give us the weather.
Where are you going?
A man in black is calling for me.
- Come get me. / - No!
No...
We'll end the news before our anchor dies.
Thank you.
(Comfortable Drama)
Gag Concert is for ages 15 and up.
So that our show can be watched by minors,
we took out all the uncomfortable scenes.
This drama will be comfortable for everyone.
- Is everyone here? / - Yes. sir!
Soon, we'll win this war!
In this box...
Is the enemy general's...
You're going to show them a decapitated head?
Gag Concert is for ages 15 and up.
We won't show you any graphic scenes.
I brought the enemy general's wig!
That fool should be so ashamed right now!
What?
Did you just insult bald people?
It was the enemy general's hair extension!
He's always trying to look fancy with extensions
and now I got his!
Now we have to find out where the enemy base is.
Bring in the prisoner that knows where it is!
Let's make him talk!
- Give him a beating! / - Yes, sir.
You scumbags!
I'll tear your limbs off and
feed them to wild beasts! Then I'll cut your heads off
and display them on the street for everyone to see!
That was so scary.
Kids will cry if they hear that.
I'll make sure your faces are seen on the streets,
so you become more popular!
That sounds nice.
- I feel so much better. / - Dear!
Dad!
Please save my dad!
What are you doing?
Yes. sir.
Come with me. Come with me!
No!
You little...
You were about to hit a kid?
Nice job.
You should never follow a strange man
if he asks you to follow him.
And if you see a strange man, blow on this.
Very good.
Her parents taught her well.
What are you doing?
Look here. Leave while I'm being nice!
No! I'm leaving with my dad!
Shut it, you little twerp!
What are you doing? She's a kid!
And that was really harsh!
But this is a historical drama. I can't even do that?
It's okay in historical dramas,
but tone it down for Gag Concert.
The kid is crying! What now?
Stand up, stand up.
I'll... Look at me and stop crying.
Peek-a-boo!
Alright, alright.
So just go.
Not without my husband.
I'll do whatever you ask me to.
She'll do whatever we ask her to?
Then...
You should sleep in my bed...
- Hey! Get out of here. / - What?
- You're not fit for KBS. Leave. / - What?
How could you say that line?
- I'm not like that! / - Then what?
She should sleep in my bed since
nobody will use it tonight!
Please let me finish! Why are you doing this to me?
It's not like that...
- I'm really upset now! / - Alright.
- You always criticize me! / - Alright, I'm sorry.
Calm down. Calm down. Just calm down.
You'd better leave while I'm being nice.
No!
If I can't leave with my husband,
we'll all just die here!
You'll all die?
If that's what you want... I'll end things.
With this sword!
You're going to kill an entire family?
With this sword,
I'll show you a sword dance!
Gag Concert is for ages 15 and up.
We'll be back again with another comfortable story!
(Ms. Shin)
Director Jang!
When will this end?
The younger actors aren't even here.
I've already been here for over 3 hours.
Ma'am...
You came here 3 hours early.
- Oh, I was 3 hours early? / - Yes.
I can't help that I wake up at 3 a.m.
That's why I'm here early.
- So, Director Jang... / - Yes.
I've always wanted to work with you.
- Really? / - Yeah, I enjoyed your project.
Which one?
"My Phony Family."
It's "My Lovely Family."
Oh, whatever. It's not my family.
I consider this an honor.
I've always wanted to work with you too.
To me, you're the best at acting.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, Director Jang.
- Hello, director! / - Hello.
The female lead for our drama!
The rising star!
To me, you're the best at acting!
Thank you.
To me, you're the best at acting!
- My goodness... / - I'm the stylist.
The best stylist!
Gosh, everyone's the best.
Look at him run his mouth.
- I'll bring the revised script. / - Okay.
Ms. Shin!
Hello.
Hey there.
Ms. Shin? Am I her teacher?
Ma'am...
We have a scene together today.
Can we rehearse?
Gosh... Hey.
An actor should be a pro and act on set.
Why would we rehearse?
Do that stuff at home.
Can we just do it once?
Okay, run your mouth.
Lady.
I know you just want my dad for his money.
Gosh...
But I'm your step-mother.
Lady?
You are not my mother. You're just some lady.
Lady, what did you do with my dad's money?
What did you do with it?
Did you just hit me?
Hit me again. Hit me again!
- Goodness... Hey! / - Yes?
Even if it says I only hit you once in the script,
if I hit you twice on set
you have to take both of those hits!
Gosh, you're so thoughtless. This isn't good.
Girls like you ruin dramas!
These days they'll make anyone the lead.
I'm sorry.
Get out!
- Hey! / - Yes?
Aren't you going to take the slap?
Geez, you're so thoughtless.
Sorry for being late.
- Long time no see, Nami. / - Yeah.
- Let's rehearse our scene later. / - Yeah.
Gosh, it's been so long.
- Hello, ma'am! / - Hi.
- Let me bow to you. / - Oh, gosh...
I'm not even dead yet.
That was needlessly polite.
Sorry for being late.
It's alright.
Ma'am.
My acting is still lacking.
Can you coach my acting?
Alright, on set...
We're going to rehearse on set.
Rehearsing at home won't help.
- I'll do my best. / - Alright.
This is kind of awkward...
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm having trouble getting into character.
Why can't you get into character?
Should I turn the lights out?
Can we try it again?
Of course.
One more time...
I don't think I'm fit for acting.
No, Taehun.
Taehun, I saw your potential just now.
You have potential.
Hold on.
- Here... / - You're putting on more lipstick?
I saw your potential.
You can become a bigger star.
Ma'am, can I say my lines too?
Yeah.
Go ahead.
What? I'm not allowed to love you?
Can't I love you?
Of course you can.
I think I've been alone all this time...
To meet you.
I love you.
I really love you too!
The line is, "Why are you being like this?"
My gosh...
I guess I got a bit too into it.
It's so hard for me to get out of my character
once I really get into it.
Here's the revised script.
- Oh, the revised script? / - Yes.
Gosh, this script is so much fun.
Great lines and great story.
- Gosh... Director Jang. / - Yes?
- I die? / - Yes.
This is a 100-episode drama...
- And I die in the first episode? / - Yes.
Goodness gracious! I'm remodeling my house...
I took my sink out, but I'm going to die?
You have the best dying scene!
I'll kill you myself!
- Ma'am! / - Calm down!
Excuse me...
(Big Picture)
Hello.
Kim Daehui is supposed to do this skit.
That's right.
But he couldn't make it due to a gig,
so I'll fill in for him for today.
I hope you enjoy the show.
Let's get started.
Alright! Get ready...
Applause!
Hello.
This is Seo Taehun of Big Picture.
Have you ever heard the term big picture?
It means to come up with a big plan.
- Hello. Hello. / - There he is!
Hello. Hello.
- Thanks. / - You're here.
Thanks.
An entrance like this gets you louder cheers.
That was my big picture.
Thank you.
Let's see big pictures in everyday life.
Honey. Honey, I'm home.
This is my chance.
Where should I hide this money?
There.
Honey! Honey!
I know he stashed some money somewhere.
Hold on...
It's probably in here...
Found it!
Yes. I knew it.
Hold on. What's this?
You finally found it, honey.
Buy anything you want with that.
My goodness!
Honey.
Sorry I've been such a bad husband.
I love you.
Thanks. I'll make you a nice dinner.
Alright, thank you.
I knew she'd find it. That was my big picture!
The real safe is here!
This was my big picture!
Honey, I'm using this money too.
This was my big picture!
So that was the big picture on hiding money.
But honestly, I don't understand.
Why hide something so precious at home?
I keep my most precious belonging on me.
Honey...
I love you.
This was my big picture to get steak for dinner.
Let's see some more big pictures.
Hello, chief.
Is it already time to go home?
- You all can go. / - Okay.
Hold on. Manager Im, isn't it your birthday?
We should throw you a birthday party!
Let's all go out for drinks!
Is it on you, chief?
Chief! Chief!
Okay, it's on me!
Alright.
I actually have something to do today.
But it's your birthday.
I guess we can't have a party today. Next time.
- You all can go. / - Good-bye.
- Manager Im. / - Yes?
Is something wrong?
I lied so you wouldn't have to use your money, chief.
You'll be promoted to chief soon.
That was good.
This was my big picture!
Guys! The chief is gone!
Let's go out for drinks without the chief!
It's on me today!
Chief!
Manger Im said he's buying!
Oh, yeah?
Thanks, Manager Im.
This was our big picture!
Welcome.
- Sangho. / - Yeah?
If you don't like the food here, it's free.
- Really? / - Yeah.
- Let's not finish our food. / - Sounds good.
- One serving of galbi. / - Sure.
- Please hurry. / - Okay, here you go.
- Thank you. / - Enjoy.
Should we try some?
- Wow, it's so good! / - This is delicious.
Stop eating.
Stop eating. Let's start.
What the...
- This tastes awful. / - Geez...
What kind of restaurant is this?
Hold on.
It says you don't have to pay if it tastes bad.
This is terrible, so we didn't finish it.
- We're leaving. / - Bye.
Hold on.
You'll be fined $200 for leftovers.
This was my big picture!
What?
Then we just have to finish this, right?
- Go ahead. / - Hurry and eat this.
We finished it, mister.
- Bye. / - Hold on.
If you eat galbi...
You get cold noodles for free!
Make sure to finish it.
Hold on.
- Wet just have to finish this, right? / - Yes.
Minsang!
What do I have to eat?
What is it? This?
I just have to eat this?
It's good.
This was our big picture!
(I'd Like to Ask a Favor)
Hello.
Hello, good to be here.
I'm Kim Wonhyo.
So good to be here.
Since I made my return last episode
this is my second time doing this.
So good to be here.
So did you all have a relaxing week?
Yes!
- You had a relaxing week? / - Yes!
Not me.
The week felt like a year.
After my appearance last episode,
I got quite the reaction.
I read some of the comments posted online.
"Wow, there are no comments here."
Probably because you were the first one.
He was the first commenter.
"Time to change the channel."
If you go through all of them you'll be back on KBS.
"I'm not watching this if you talk about politics."
I know you're watching now.
And this one.
"This skit will last a month at most."
An entire month?
It's fine with me.
I'm just thankful for all the attention.
And I have a lot of favors to ask you all...
What was that?
I think someone just said something to me.
Me? I should go to North?
What did I do wrong?
Oh, my hat?
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Now I feel a bit better.
It's like a good luck charm.
So please do me a favor.
It's so nice that you're showing me all this attention,
but please don't comment on my fashion.
These days, a lot of people
try to do things that comedians do.
Comedians work very hard
to come up with catchphrases.
You need a catchphrase
to become popular and do commercials.
But it's really hard to come up with catchphrases.
It isn't easy.
And even if you work hard to come up with one,
you can't just say it. That wouldn't be funny
and it wouldn't catch on.
My own catchphrase, "No!"
I can't just say it like... No.
No.
No!
If I said it like that, it wouldn't have caught on.
Socks with skulls on them at a funeral. No!
It's zero calories if you enjoyed the meal. No!
If my wife makes more money than me...
Actually, that's fine.
You have to add some acting to make it funny
and maybe it'll become popular.
But this one person
went on TV and said one thing
and it became popular.
"Divorcees in Bucheon, bankrupt in Incheon."
As soon as I saw this I was like,
"Please don't catch on, please don't catch on."
Then it became the most searched term!
He didn't even make it funny.
Some people are searching on their phones.
Don't. Don't.
If you search on your phones,
it'll be come a hot topic again!
I can't stand it when other people benefit!
And another thing.
This one person likes to repeat
his catchphrase like we do in comedy.
If you repeat your catchphrase,
it's really catchy.
He said he'd give up on the economy entirely
during the elections.
But after the elections he said
the nation is handed over entirely.
Entirely! Entirely!
He keeps using the same catchphrase.
Of course it caught on.
As soon as I saw this,
I thought about quitting my comedy career entirely.
I don't know why they're doing this
when they're making a living just fine.
But this is all fine.
I thought this was the end of it.
But some people had a repeated catchphrase
and even a performance.
(We are sorry)
Comedians have to be funny and make a living.
Catchphrases, repeating them, performances...
This is entirely...
Oops! I keep saying entirely!
My gosh!
Please do me this favor.
Please don't try to be funny like comedians.
Gosh...
Out of the many people here,
please raise your hand if you'd
like to ask a favor.
Someone that has something to say.
He really raised his hand up high.
Aren't you the assistant director of Gag Concert?
(Kim Jinsun, assistant director of Gag Concert)
The director asked me to ask you something.
So please answer honestly.
If you say something weird, I'll cut you off.
You were with Gag Concert, but you were on
"People Looking for a Laugh" recently.
Yes...
So will you be going to "Comedy Big League"
later on?
I can't hear you. Let's stop here.
Please answer..
Look at all the people here.
So rude.
You're so rude.
Please do me this favor!
(Pigeon Magic Troupe)
They're here to make up for their dark pasts.
Introducing Mr. Gwon of the Pigeon Magic Troupe!
Hello.
I'm Magician Gwon Jaegwan.
Before I show you my amazing trick...
I'll show you a simple telepathy trick.
Sitting in the audience is...
- Magician Yun Seunghyeon. / - Yes, boss.
Magician Yun Seunghyeon
has a red ball and a blue ball.
Someone in the audience will pick
one of the balls
and I'll guess which ball was picked without looking.
I'll turn around now.
And close my eyes.
- Magician Yun Seunghyeon. / - Pick a ball please.
Pick a ball up.
Ready, boss.
The answer is red.
Go again.
Ask someone else.
Next person.
Please stand up and pick a ball.
Man, I'm hungry.
The answer is blue.
Wow.
Oh, come on. That seemed fishy.
Ask that chatty audience member to pick a ball.
- Sir. / - Yes.
Stand up and pick a ball.
- Ready, boss. / - Man, I'm hungry.
Blue...
- Ready, boss. / - Man, I'm hungry.
Boss, ready to be hungry.
- Are you holding both balls? / - Wow!
Come on!
- See? If I pick this one up... / - Ready, boss.
- And if I pick this one up... / - Man, I'm hungry.
You guys planned this!
Come on up.
- You planned this... / - Come on up.
Everyone knows that.
Come up on stage.
This member of the audience...
- Don't be nervous. / - Oh, okay...
- This is Gag Concert. / - Okay.
- Don't be nervous, alright? / - Okay!
- We're magicians. Alright? / - Yes.
- See those colored balls? / - Yes.
Pick one of the colors
and I'll guess what it is.
I won't look.
The answer is... Purple.
- Wow! / - Wow!
Amazing, right?
- See? I got it right. / - Yes...
(Unless you want to die, pick purple)
- That was real magic, wasn't it? / - Yes...
- Got it? / - Yes!
- Go sit down. Hurry! / - Thank you.
I got it right. Applause!
Now, we'll show you the highlight of our show.
We'll split a body apart.
See the box behind me?
Magician Lee Seongdong will go inside this box.
People, do not try this at home or anywhere else.
Got it?
Yes.
- Louder. / - Yes!
Good job.
Let's check on Magician Lee Seongdong.
- Let's see his face. / - Yes, boss.
He's here. Now, his hands.
You see his hands here.
Next are his feet.
Your foot. There you go. This foot too.
This foot too. There you go.
Now we'll close these little doors.
Close them.
Put your hands in.
- Don't try to look cool. / - Yes, boss.
Put your head back in.
His head is back in there.
Now... It's time for you all
to see something amazing.
First, we'll move the first box on top.
- Lift it up when you're ready. / - Yes, boss.
Place it nicely.
Next, is the second box.
We'll move the second box.
Pick it up.
Now we'll place the third box up here.
Lift it up.
Now they're all together.
So at the count of 3
we'll all say the magic word.
1, 2, 3!
Abracadabra!
Magician Lee Seongdong's
feet will be revealed.
Magician Lee Seongdong's feet!
Here we go.
There are his feet. Magician Lee Seongdong's
hands!
1, 2, 3. Abracadabra!
There they are.
Magician Lee Seongdong's face!
1, 2, 3. Abracadabra!
Amazing, right? Applause!
(Ugly Inside)
Honey...
When will you come back from Japan?
- Very soon. / - Really?
- You'd better. / - You're so cute, Yumi.
- I love you. / - I love you.
Let's break up.
Where did that come from?
My face keeps changing.
I'll come back with a different face
once I go to Japan.
Honey, they might make delicious sushi in Japan,
but Korea is much better at cosmetic surgery.
- I know a good clinic. / - It's not that, Yumi.
Listen, honey.
Even if your face changes, you're the only one.
I love you!
Yumi, I'm so sorry.
- I won't say that again. / - You'd better now.
Alright, Yumi.
I think I have to go now.
Alright, have a good trip.
- My passport is gone. / - Huh?
- Maybe I left it at the restaurant. / - Try to find it.
- Let me go to the restaurant. / - Oh, no...
Gosh, now what?
Yumi, I found my passport.
Who are you and how do you know my name?
It's me. Byeongcheol.
Hello. Cute. These are my teeth.
What the... Such a lame joke.
Give me that.
You're right.
So that's what you meant by your face changing.
Byeongcheol.
Your face doesn't match your passport photo.
You won't be able to fly.
- You're so funny, Yumi. / - Byeongcheol...
No, your face is funnier.
I'll go to Japan and buy you
some round pain-relief patches.
No, I have plenty at home.
Buy me a lot of luxury brand bags.
I like luxury brands.
- You like luxury brands? / - Yeah.
My face is a luxury brand!
You can live off my face.
Thank you. I'm going to bite you.
Stop it! I'm not a piece of bread!
Beat it. Take this and leave!
Fine. That's it for today.
Honey! Honey...
Some weirdo came by.
Yeah?
Don't ever leave me again. Don't go to Japan.
Don't go anywhere.
Alright, I won't go on my business trip.
Don't go!
Alright, I won't go.
Alright, alright.
Alright...
- Hold on, honey. / - Calm down.
Is something happening at the airport?
- What's with all the police? / - Yeah.
Something's weird.
I'll go find out what's up.
Hold on! You'll change again!
I won't. I'll be right back.
No, honey.
- You don't have to find out. / - Just 3 seconds.
- Honey. Honey! / - 3 seconds.
Honey!
Geez...
Huh? Who is this?
Byeongcheol, you look good in a uniform!
- Nice. / - Pardon?
- I'm in the narcotics squad. / - Pardon?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Gosh... Where did Byeongcheol go?
I'm right here.
Down here. It's me.
It's me. Is there something over there?
- Don't lie. You're a dog now? / - Yeah.
- It's me. / - My goodness!
You're so cute. Honey!
- Shake. / - Here you go.
Sit, honey.
Alright, I'll lie down.
Shake, honey.
You're so cute! What happened, honey?
- Yumi. / - Yeah.
I left my mark here.
This is my turf.
Don't be ridiculous.
- You're so cute! / - This is nice.
- Excuse me! / - Yes?
Please stay away from my sniffer dog Rex.
He's not a sniffer dog.
This is my boyfriend Byeongcheol.
We have a suspicious crazy woman at Gate 2-3.
Please confirm.
Don't take him away.
- Byeongcheol! / - Let's go, Rex.
- I love you, honey! / - Yumi, I'll be right back.
Honey... Byeongcheol became a dog...
Honey, you came back as a human.
Who are you?
I'm just an Avengers fan.
I don't care. We should start dating today.
What are you saying?
- You're my captain. / - Yumi!
What's going on?
Who are you? Why are you hitting on Yumi?
Mister, this girl hit on me first.
There are too many guys after Yumi.
- I'll reduce the population of men in half. / - No.
There's nobody like that, Byeongcheol.
- What are you doing? / - What the...
Byeongcheol...
- Why aren't you disappearing? / - What the...
- What are you doing? / - Why won't you disappear?
- Disappear! / - What is that?
- I'll do it until you disappear! / - What is this?
Can the both of you please disappear?
Disappear!
Disappear! Disappear!
(Momentary Home Shopping)
This is Momentary Home Shopping with Lee Munjae
and we'll start now.
The product I'd like to show you today
is the ice pants that'll keep you cool this summer.
We have CEO Yoo Minsang to talk about them.
Hello, I'm Yoo Minsang.
Cool pants.
That's right. Yoo Minsang's ice pants
are available in many different colors.
We have basic black and beige.
We even have them in blue.
And the ones I'm wearing.
Don't they look nice?
They're gray.
What?
I said they're gray.
Oh, so that's what you meant.
They're gray.
- Let's move on! / - Yes.
Let's move on.
Yoo Minsang's ice pants
are great for the outdoors too.
Try going hiking
with our pants on.
The wild beasts will get scared.
They have that function?
We smeared tiger poop on the pants.
What?
Wild boars will be terrified.
Geez... Hey!
See how scared he got?
Hey, what did that mean?
Now let's bring in homemaker Kim Suyeong
and get some tips on our pants.
Come on out!
No matter how nice the clothes are
they get wrinkled.
Before you iron these pants,
spray it with sparkling water.
Oh, sparkling water.
You just drank that. Excuse me.
- You drank it. / - Yes.
If you don't have sparkling water...
- You can use spicy seafood soup. / - Excuse me.
That's ridiculous.
Since the iron has heated up...
Excuse me... Hey! What are you doing?
- It's mine! / - What?
Did he come here to eat?
Allow us to tell you more about our product.
Inside your clothes, there's usually a label
that tells you how to wash it.
- But the letters are too small to read. / - Yes.
But with Yoo Minsang's ice pants...
Take a look. Can you hold this?
Look how easy the label is to read.
You could use this as underwear too.
That's why it's surprising.
And if you order our product today
we're giving away t-shirts.
This is quite the t-shirt.
You become handsome if you put it on.
Really?
Take a look.
What the...
He'll make you look better.
I'm still better looking.
- Excuse me. / - Even if I do this.
- Excuse me. / - What's important is that...
This is the actual size of Minsang's face.
People, it looks smaller on TV.
It looks this big in real life.
Don't be ridiculous!
There's a big difference.
Let's bring in our model
and hear his review on our product.
Come on out!
Hello, I'm Jeong Haecheol and I'm a model.
Yoo Minsang's ice pants look great
no matter when you wear them.
And I thought about why.
It's because I wore them!
Jeong Haecheol the model.
I can even make these trashy clothes look good.
Advertisers, please call this number!
What are you doing?
I want to wear
Yoo Minsang's ice pants
every day because it's so hot out...
This is my email address!
Give those pants to charity.
And hire Jeong Haecheol as your model!
Hey! What was that about?
What's that model's deal?
Don't you all want a pair?
Please call now.
Available by phone 24 hours a day.
Fitting model Jeong Haecheol!
No! Not this!
Let's cut to a commercial break.
♪ We welcome newbies, it's Gag Talk ♪
♪ English for beginners, it's Gag Talk ♪
♪ For newbies ♪
♪ For newbies ♪ If you want to learn English...
Yoo Minsang's ice pants.
What?
How was that relevant?
How are ice pants and English related?
Don't you all want some?
Please call now.
This has been Yoo Minsang's shaved ice.
- They're pants! / - They're the best.
(Bongsunga School)
Hello!
I'm the teacher of Bongsunga School, Kim Daehui.
Who wants to talk first today?
Mix Sejin!
Put your hands up in the air!
DJ Mix time!
Hello, teacher.
I mix everything. I'm Mix Sejin!
Alright, Mix Sejin.
- Teacher, I'm so happy. / - Why?
I enjoyed some taff-dy.
What? Taff-dy?
I mixed taffy and candy!
- Oh, taff-dy. / - So sweet.
- Teacher, I really enjoying cooking. / - Alright.
I made pickles
with onions and ginger and it was delicious.
Yeah?
So mixed those three things!
DJ Mix, drop the beat!
Onion, ginger, pickles...
Ginger, onion, pickles!
Gin-ion-pick!
I made gin-ion-pick!
Everyone!
Gin-ion-pick!
- Teacher. / - Yeah.
- Want me to make you gin-ion-pick? / - Thanks.
Teacher, another thing.
My health hasn't been so good,
so I searched online about health.
- They say germanium bracelets are good. / - Yeah?
- And clapping is good for blood circulation. / - Yes.
- Hand acupuncture is good for you too. / - Yes.
I mixed those three healthy things!
DJ Mix, drop the beat!
Germanium, clapping, hand acupuncture...
Germanium, clapping, hand acupuncture!
Ge-clap-puncture!
Everyone!
Ge-clap-puncture!
So exciting.
Ge-clap-puncture!
This has been Mix Sejin!
Good job, Mix Sejin.
We're supposed to get a new student today.
Hi, kids! Hi!
Hi.
Who are you?
Hi, kids!
I'm from the land of hopes and dreams.
- I'm Ms. Hard Carry. / - Ms. Hard Carry.
Teacher, I had a water fight with a kid earlier.
A water fight?
I was walking along the street
and a kid came up to me.
He started splashing me.
So I said... Stop it, kid!
That's cold! Stop it! You got me all wet.
Thanks though, kid.
I'm not hot anymore thanks to you.
So, kid...
Should we talk about this wet phone?
Kid, we need to talk.
What? Your mom said not to follow strangers?
We're not strangers.
You're the perpetrator and I'm the victim.
Let's go to the police station.
Kid, you're crying? Don't cry.
I'll show you a puppet show.
This is you.
Kid, you fed me too much water.
I feel sick.
I'm sorry, cell phone.
That's okay. Now it's your turn.
Why did you do that to me?
How could you do that to a kid?
- I was just playing around. / - Right?
That's why I got that kid this
teddy bear as a gift.
Why doesn't this teddy bear have eyes?
Why?
The kid has to stick the eyes on
to make money to fix my phone.
Can you go sit down?
Kid, life is a war.
So scary... Alright.
Next is CD!
♪ Please just... Even though ♪
♪ The moment I... ♪
♪ I'll give... Everything ♪
It's fine.
That was pretty good.
I'm going to fill-in for G-Dragon's absence.
I'm C-Dragon or CD.
How are you going to fill-in for G-Dragon?
What the... What are you doing?
This is so swag.
I'm going to work at a Chinese restaurant.
I'll totally have swag at the Chinese restaurant.
What will you do at a Chinese restaurant?
First, I'll tell people about the menu.
This is swag and sour pork.
This is swags fin.
Lastly, this is swag meatballs.
And I'll even do the deliveries myself.
Where is...
Who ordered swag noodles?
Okay, here.
You'll enjoy it.
Fried dumplings on the swag.
What are you doing?
And while G-Dragon is in the army I'll make it a trend.
I'll totally make it a trend.
Make what a trend?
These noodles
will become my bob cut.
And this coupon sticker
will become my face tattoo.
♪ The color of my tear is black ♪
And this pickled radish and onion
will become my mic.
This will totally become a trend.
Are you all ready?
Let's start the performance.
♪ I'm the chef on Sundays ♪
Yeah!
You'll go sit down now.
Alright, I'll go sit down.
I'll totally miss you all.
Good job, CD!
Alright, who wants to talk next?
Hello.
I love Korea
and I will never speak English.
I'm a proud Korean. I'm Kim Seongwon.
- You'd better not speak English. / - Alright.
Today, I'll talk about various instruments.
This is a 6-stringed zither.
This is a popular instrument in Asia.
- The 12-stringed zither. / - Sure.
And a famous instrument in the West.
This Western zither.
- Hold on. What is that? / - A Western zither.
How is that a Western zither?
- It's the zither of the West? / - Of course.
A Western zither.
So does that mean Lee Taeseon...
- Plays an electric Western zither? / - So you know.
- You already know. / - Don't be ridiculous.
- We all call it something else. / - A Western zither.
- Just say it. / - Please.
When I'm giving you the chance.
No! No!
- You said no English! / - Don't!
Guitar!
G-U-I-T-A-R! Guitar!
Fully hollow body acoustic guitar.
Slotted headstock 12-string electric left-handed guitar.
Jeju-do's guitar rice cakes.
What are you doing?
Pigeon feath-guitar.
♪ It's me, it's me ♪
♪ I've been guitaring for you ♪
Teacher, I can't not speak English!
Of course it's called a guitar. It's fine.
- Shall I keep going? / - Of course.
Alright. Next...
I'll talk about some foods
that you can eat for breakfast.
- People eat fruit for breakfast. / - Right.
- And bread. / - Right.
And...
They even eat this women's makeup.
What are you talking about?
What is this called?
Women's makeup.
- So you put this on your skin? / - Of course.
What the...
Don't eat it. Share it with your skin.
He really put it on his skin.
This is getting annoying. Just say it.
- You don't know what this is? / - What?
You don't know this is called makeup?
Just say it.
You even put some on your face!
Don't say it!
Yoghurt!
Y-O-G-H-U-R-T! Yoghurt!
Original probiotic strawberry yoghurt.
Great!
Light and fit Greek blended non-fat organic yoghurt.
Right!
Flying yoghurt.
The horror movie "Whispering Yoghurt."
♪ Shanti, shanti, yoghurt fire ♪
♪ Hot curry ♪
I can't not speak English, teacher!
- Want to go sit down? / - Yes.
- Alright, Mr. Kim. See you next week. / - Okay.
See you guys again. Bye-bye.
- Thank you very much. / - Good job, Seongwon.
Please be seated.
The principal will be here soon.
Hello, Mr. Principal.
Hello.
People come first.
I am the 19th principal of Bongsunga School,
Moon Gyojang.
The Korean team has been
playing very hard in the World Cup.
I got myself a uniform
so I could cheer for them until the end.
SHM?
You're a fan of Son Heungmin?
People come first.
I can only make this joke once every 4 years.
I prepared a little riddle
that I thought would be fun.
- Want to hear it? / - Alright.
Why did the boy
put sugar on his pillow before bed?
I wonder why.
Sugar on his pillow?
To have sweet dreams!
Sugar for sweet dreams!
How about this?
What's another way to say that
there's too much fine dust outside?
Extreme fine dust.
Fine dust warning.
There's dust everywhere!
Don't breathe in fine dust, people.
Enjoy a cold glass of water
and have sweet dreams!
Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet!